$CLOUT Poetry - Just Like the Chilli Sapling

ramblingrose

A poem about knowing when you’re not ready for a relationship.

alternate text

I’m not ready
Just like the chilli sapling
You effortlessly placed into an empty egg box
And fashioned into a first date gift.

Was it meant to represent our relationship
That would soon progress from sapling to shoot
A testament to our emotional maturity
Proof that we were both really ready?

It didn’t flourish
It almost outright refused to
Out of malice
It didn’t wish to see me smile.

Had he tested me?
Was this not a real chilli plant?
The gift was more of a challenge
That made me question if I was even worthy.

I didn’t know what else it could want
After bestowing all its needs
As gracefully as the sapling sat, cross-legged
Gazing upon me without eyes to judge.

But now, I realise
Throughout the months letting its silent whispers
Lose themselves before my ears
It was telling me something I would have refused entry.

Expecting growth in a barren bed
Possesses a childlike naivety
And stunted minds make for dry soil
Our relationship, like this plant, was not ready.

The two dates we had
Roused emotions, raw and plentiful
That stood out of place
Even amongst trees that have taken years to take shape.

I was not who I wanted to be
And neither were you
Despite constantly grinding our minds together
In hopes of life sprouting from the powder we created.

I kept the sapling alive until this very day
To prove to my past self
Who allowed her feelings to run wild
As reeds overwhelming a forest floor.

Unlike our relationship
The little sapling is now standing strong on its own
And grinning at me without a smile
Allowing the sun to sink into its ageing face.

After all, it’s not the sapling’s fault for existing
Just as it’s not our fault for trying
It serves as a reminder that, just like the chilli sapling,
I too was a shoot amongst mighty forests.


© Rambling Rose, 2021. All rights reserved.

🌹 Thanks for reading. I ramble on while the world goes crazy. Come pull up a seat and watch with me.

This was originally published on Medium. Not a Medium friend yet? Become one here.

Like what you read?